i'm not afraid; i'm moving on

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What's on my mind:

" Everybody wants to go to heaven
But nobody wants to die "

Doing My Best

It's the lovebirds' 1st year anniversay.Honestly, I think I'm more excited than the two of them.lol.I was jumping in my seat up and down, like I was having a sugar rush.Which I was, in any case.Hehs.I'm about to study.Hmmm, till about 1800hrs.Then, free time.I might be watching 'Blood Diamond'.After than, will call a friend up and crap till it's time to sleep.Haha.

I seriously need chocolate.I need to go buy some afterwards.I'm changing; Am not sure exactly how.But I realise the symptoms from my outlook on life and a whole other stuff.Plus, my need for chocolate and hyperness have increased.It's odd since I've never been such a chocolate person, before.Oh well.Everything's for the best.

Chatting with Priya Akka and getting her advice on the matter at hand.I'm going crazy.History seems to repeat itself again and again.However, I've learnt my lesson and I know what to do now.A friend called and friend was down.I'm trying my best.I really am.I just hope it's enough.

By the way, do read the poem for the lovebirds, below =]

Labels: Changes, chocolates, Friends, lovebirds, Poems, Priya, Study

Sunday, 30 August 2009,13:46 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Theirs is a love like no other

For two people who shine like stars in my life:
I could look further into space
Mars and even into another universe
But I wouldn't find a pair like you two
Years ago there were
Romeo&&Juliet
Why even those two from Titanic
But forget them all
And watch these two stars love
A sight you can see nowhere else
But here when you sit with me
If I ever love
It must be as strong and as understanding
Theirs is a love like no other
These two shining stars
Compliment each other
With their words and just their hearts
Lovebirds whom are one when together
Theirs is a love like no other
-Priyaa Nedunzeliyan
Happy 1st anniversay, Lovebirds!

00:13 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Simplicity

Pictures from Nature Trip at Keppel Club&&Others

`toilet camwhoring:MRYE, Me, Hazzie, Roh

`club camwhoring:Roh&&Me; kissing like a fish

`a flower i painted from a bottle

`by classmate

`th forest Roh wants to live in

`love th lighted up trees

`lalala

`Roh wants to live here

`i love th shadow effect

`i want this in my house

`Roh wants to be a poster girl :D

`HAHA! No comments

As you'll can see, I've changed my blogskin.I need a break.

From a lot of things, actually.But most of all, from colours.Haha; As odd as that sounds.Simplicity rocks.

Anyways, I got some sad news today.I was already all moody when I woke up in the morn.That news, twisted everything more.But somehow, I got better and hyper-ed around the house with the family.I was dancing.lol.

I'm focusing on my story now.Amazingly, the flow of it is incredible.I love it.Hehs.

I'm thinking so much, recently.Some of which, is real unecessary.But I can't help it.I miss crapping nonsensically.Yet I'm guessing, I'll get back to doing that after the exams.By the way, after watching 'The Proposal', I don't mind travelling to Alaska.The scenery is breath taking.Even though, I'm not fan of watching sceneries.Hehs.

I can't wait for Monday, and the meet we're having having.I miss the 5 in unison and the other girls :D

I changed my mind all `cause of you;

`smash into you;

Labels: 5 in Unison, Changes, Exams, moody, Pictures

Saturday, 29 August 2009,21:55 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Hanging In There

Hello; I broke my resolution.

But I have an absolutely reasonable reason for that.I've got Home Econs project and well, mum said it was fine if used the computer once or twice a week.So here I am.Actually, this week has been chaotic.But I've been hyper and happy for most part of it.Lots of good things happenend, and I'm thankful to God.

However right now, I'm feeling a little under the weather.I miss people and it sucks that they're not by my side, right now.Things are changing, rapidly.I can't keep track and I don't understand.I want/need closure.And I'm getting that from the song Priya Akka introduced me to.It's beautifully overwhelming.It makes me forget some unpleasant things.

But I shan't worry cuz everything's gonna be alright :)

`Cause I know that what we have;

Is worth first place in gold;

Friday, 28 August 2009,21:09 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Gone with th wind

Studying is weird, when done on the computer.

Hellooo, lol.Bro is teaching me Science.Actually, more than I need to know.But oh well, I'm not going to refuse extra information.Who knows? It might come handy, sometime.Hehs.Charmaine is our constant distract-er.lol.

I went to NTUC in the morning to shop for provisions.Family and I had breakfast out too.My granny so cute.Haha, I love her a lot.

And cuz of the exams, I think I really have to cut my time on the computer.It's so sad.Cuz I'd really miss blogging.And chatting with my loved ones.However, it's a sacrifice I must make.And when I get my results back, I'm sure it would be worth it.Maybe I'll come on once and a while.But that's it.Haiz.

I watched 'Siva Mansula Sakthi' just now.Quite nice.Hehs.I was just waiting for the song.Bro and Sis in law are full of crap.Seriously.Incorrigible, I tell you.INCORRIGIBLE! Make their mother cry...!! Two Gundus.

I'm just lol-ing around.But really, I've become grumpy and crappy cuz of all this studying.I must learn to be nicer to everyone around me, especially my dear sister.

Now I've got to go and study :D

Oru Kal Oru Kanndi;

Udaiyamal mothikondal Kaadhal;

Labels: Exams, Love, Study, Weird

Sunday, 23 August 2009,13:55 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Imma stay right here

It's a Saturday night.It's windy outside.I wish I was outside, right now.

Complications, complications and more complications.Life is practically filled with them.Just when you thought everything was going to be fine.Haiz.I'm just drowning every single unhappy thought with loud music.And I don't even like loud music.I was hyper till 21:00, which is good enough for today, I guess.

I'm addicted to 'Excuse me, Mr Kandasamy' song.Hehs.I keep replaying it again and again.Cousin wants me to follow her to Beyonce's concert.It's in between the exams.lol.She's crazy, really.

I have this disconcerting feeling.I don't know exactly what about.Oh well.We'll wait and see.

My heart really goes out to you.I don't know how to make you feel better.But a hug is always waiting just for you.Things will be better soon.We just have to perserve a little longer.So hang in there, babe.

Come out from th cold, here

Lay your head on my shoulder

Ride like a soldier

Imma stay right here

We'd be singing dancing;

Hot romancing;

Masti all th time;

Labels: Cousins, Saturday, Weird

Saturday, 22 August 2009,21:30 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Mahiya...

Hellooo...!!

It's the end of the week! I can sleep in, finally.Actually, it's been a long week and I'm super tired.I can't even start to fanthom whatever's going to happen next week.Today was, slack day.I figured out how to claculate current, voltage and resistance level.I'm happy about that.One less thing to worry about.During HomeEc, made the best cookies.lol.Said by all whom have tasted it.See we can bake, Rohini.Hehs.

MT was not much fun.Cuz some of us had to go for photoshoot.Speaking of which, mine with the dancers was at 14:30.Getting ready was all rushing.Though it was sorta fun.Divya and I crapped lots.lol.But by the time we were done with the photos and keeping our stuff, I was real tired.And hungry too.So, Karthika, Divya and I made our way to 7-11.Karthika treated us.I love those cookies!

I don't know what to say anymore.And I don't expect I will, anyway.

I wish you could see yourself th way I see ya;

You shine just like a star Mahiya;

Cuz you're my only pyaar Mahiya:

Labels: Dance, Divya, Friendship, Love, Tired

Friday, 21 August 2009,21:09 | comment | 0 comment(s)

I don't Care

A great big hello!

My hyperness hasn't gone down yet.lol.Mrs T is back.So no more free periods at the library from now on.Yesterday, zonked out to emo-ness for a while.But got all better after a while.Dance was tiring and I slept in the middle of msging people.Hehs.

Today, Divya and I wasted the entire day cuz of the interview.We were all dressed up by 9plus.But the interviewer didn't arrive till 10plus.So we sat and talked long about stuff.Haha.It was fun.We only attended assembly.After that, had to stay back for area clean-up.During lunch, Venkat stole my wallet and took my $4!! I know it's not much.But still.He gave it back, anyways.

It was fun.Walked and talked with Srivatsa, Divya and Ifah... I even sang a song for Srivatsa, cuz he was walking in the most percular fashion.Hehs.Later Divya and Rohini went to cool their chocolate cravings.I left early cuz I was meeting up with family at the library.That's where I am now, by the way.

My days are filled with studies and dance.It's like there's no more time to worry or get angry.I like it.It makes me feel better and I'm not losing my temper much.I'm so overwhelmed with this bubble feeling, I keep thanking God.I thank God for the reasons I smile/laugh.It's a nice feeling.I'm thankful.Definitely, grateful.

And I'm understanding a few things right now.Some think it's better left unsaid.I disagree.But for now, it doesn't matter.Cuz...

Honestly, I don't care.

Girlfriend,

We fight we break up,

But then we kiss we make up;

Labels: Divya, Fun, Happy, Rohini, Srivatsa, Venkat

Wednesday, 19 August 2009,16:25 | comment | 0 comment(s)

A Joy Beyond Words

Hello!!

The hyperness hasn't wore off, yet.Actually, right now I've more reasons to be hyper for.lol.Oh well.Let's see, lazed around for most part of the day.The moment I woke up, received a msg from Rashidha.So I ended up msging lots of people.Hehs.Then, Dad bought lunch.Watched TV and ate.After a while, started on Maths homework.My only, for this weekend.Thankful for that.

Sundays are kinda the best.If I don't have much homework.Sat with mum and sister, watching 'The Bone Collector'.It's a very sadistic movie, yet it lifted my spirits.I'm having a headache since just now.Hoping it will go away and I can sleep well tonight.

I'm extremely happy.Beyond words, really.My heart is swelled up and it hurts from all this overwhelming joy.I know, I'm full of 'emotional' crap.But this is how I can explain it.The bubble feeling has returned.And I keep smiling.A lot.My sister asked me if I lost my screw.Haha.I don't care, anymore.I'm just plain, happy!

You make me smile;

♥ You always do;

Labels: Happy, Homework, Lazy, Love

Sunday, 16 August 2009,21:04 | comment | 0 comment(s)

HyperHyper

Woohoo!!

My new way of saying hello.Just being super hyper at the moment.Lucky, atleast I'm not jumping here and there.

Anyways, changed my blogskin.Like it? It's the same as Sya.Hope she doesn't mind.Oooh, and I've got music now.lol.Music does set me ablaze.

I deleted the previous post I did.Cuz I thought it was crap and after a heart to heart with mum, I don't think I mean it, anymore.Actually aite, I'm very tired from yesterday.So many things happened.I mean crapping with the guys can really make you tired.Haha.The girls and I talked at one study corner.Dance was tedious.After our ordered dinner, got into the bus and headed towards Singapore Poly.

I've got only one thing to say about that place.It's massive.Just massive.lol.The show was great.Karthika and I crapped through msging each other.And we were sitting beside each other.Hehs.We're so weird.Chatting with Roh, Bro and Mai at the moment.Interesting topics going on.I feel really really weird.

I just want to be loud! Like seriously, LOUD!! Haha.After many days, and even a few weeks of just drafting, I'm finally ready to write my new story.I love my characters.I'm not sure if it's going to hit but there's a connection going on.I'm pretty confident about it.Hehs.Let's see.

I kissed a girl and I liked it ;

Labels: Hyper, Music, Rohini

Saturday, 15 August 2009,13:49 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Pretty Woman???

Boo ya!

Anyways, new discovery:

Guys, oddly, do make better friends.

Haha!!

And Venkat, Sri, Vaitesswar are truly one of a kind.

Sri's English sucks,

So does Venkat's singing, except for pretty woman.

And Vaitesswar is a genius, seriously.

I don't care anymore.I'm not saying sorry cuz I did nothing wrong;

Friday, 14 August 2009,12:12 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Feeling Better

I haven't been able to blog for quite some time.Quite some time, since I think I blog often enough.Damn.I just don't have the time.I can't even come online properly.I kept using the school computer.For free.Hehs.

I'm addicted to one Tamil song like mad.Even during yesterday's English Test, only one line from the song was running through my head.Weird or what? School is mad.Seriously.Just mad.Chaotic.And I'm being bombarded here and there.Everywhere.Argh.Frustrated.And freaking out cuz exams are nearing.Ahhh.

Actually, I don't know what to say anymore.Sometimes, I say too much.Sometimes, I don't say enough.Whatever, okay? I can't take it.I'm just going to live my life.Actually must thank Mariyah.She was scribbling in my book and she wrote quite a few quotes.One caught my eye, and boom!! The light was shining and I got it.Whatever, God wanted to say.In that one quote.Damn, I love that girl.

I'm going to hold on tight.Weee!!

Special thanks to:

Charmaine babe, Rohini baby, Bro, Haris, MRYE and Rashi...

Seriously, thanks.

Labels: Confused, Friends, School

Thursday, 13 August 2009,16:32 | comment | 0 comment(s)

An Ability

Yesterday night, heard this damn nice song from one crappy movie.Still, the song is nice.

It's beautiful and I'm just crazy over it.Random thoughts.

There's no school on Monday! I'm just going to sleep in.Nothing much.Catch up on a few pending work.I must admit.Life seems almost boring without school.School brings drama.On second thoughts, school is drama.

Many weird dreams, I have been having lately.It's not all that bad.Both I had today made me real happy.Life's good.In odd ways.Chatting with Roh and ahem, Jack.Jack of all trades.Haha.I just told him something that was not supposed to be said.lol.Can't wait to see Rohini's face now.Hehs.I'm so bad.

I want to go out with my cuzzies.I miss Suria Anna, Vithya Akka, Rishi, Harshvini and Vaikesh.Pritha too.The small children too.But I want to go out with all the teens.So long since we did something crazy.And that's what I feel like, anyway.I want to do something crazy.However, I've foresaw the future.I see myself doing something to the very extreme.I'm nuts.

" Love is not a feeling; It's an ability ♥ "

Nice line, eh? I like it a lot.It makes sense.And very few things have been making sense these days.lol.

See you at night ;

Labels: Cousins, Crazy, Jack, Rohini

Sunday, 9 August 2009,16:19 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Make Me Smile...

Bro said I recently have become vulgar.An observation, not a criticism, he says.lol.True, but I'm vulgar only a bit.Plus, only when chatting and blogging in the other one.So, really I don't do anyone any harm.The feeling from yesterday still lingers.Gratified, even.Oh God.

Now I can relate to the Lovebirds.lol.Cousins have come over.The house resembles a zoo.Harini says I look like Loosu Anna.Which is a lie! Hehs.Actually aite, I'm relatively happier than yesterday.Hmmm... I'm inspired once more.I still can't decipher person's expression.And I can't take it.It's killing me.I hope all's fine.I'm waiting to return to school.

Thought for the day:

" For those eyes

Are such good friends

You're irreplaceable "

I've said this before.But whatever.I feel like it all over again.Now, more than ever.You are irreplaceable.So, don't try to go away.Please don't.It will hurt worse than before.My mind feels like it's on AM, when all I hear is FM.The frequency is not right.It's peaceful, anyhow.I wish you were here, right now.

You'll make me smile.

You always do.

Labels: Love, Miss, Poems

Saturday, 8 August 2009,21:44 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Originality&&Individuality, Not Conformity

Adios, sanity.It has long gone; Flown away; Something like that.I realise I'm crapping.But really, I have no other choice.

Today was the national day celebration at school.Like most of the people at school, I too was wearing red.lol.Bought it at Lot 1, last night.The 2 hours was kinda boring.I spent most of it, reading a book.Hehs.That's me, to you.Anyways, the prize presentation for MT was slightly funny.I invited Surya to come along for Lunch.Too bad, he couldn't.

The gang, Venkat and I made our way to IMM.I think Venkat was slightly pissed that Shafiq didn't follow.We ate at Burger's King.Then, roamed around in Mini Toons.Thing is, Mini Toons is like my personally made hell.The various rainbow colours and fluffy toys just threw me off.I wanted to puke.But restrained.

Venkat made fun about my dancing, the world shaking and me walking on shops' roofs.Weird but entertaining, in any case.I was pissed, thus took the taxi home.I couldn't read a person's expression and that made me more cranky.I slept and had an absolutely vivid dream.Hmmm... Accompanied mum to the shop.She knows my secret.lol.Everyone came over to celebrate cousin's birthday.Haha.It was fun, especially when I got to decorate her face with cake!

Back to current life situation.I'm still pissed.With my feelings.It's gnawing at me, and I'm sure it's growing too.I can't stop it.Cuz, I can't help it.I like it.Haiz.

For the day:

" Nothing compares

To th moment you smile

When you laugh

It makes a crinkle

All th way to your eyes

A vague moment

You catch my eye

And I wonder

If you'll ever make me cry

I don't want to be th girl who died for you

I don't want you to die for me

I want to be th girl

That lived with you a single moment

And never asked for anything

As I died

With just that one happy memory "

I'm confused and guilty.Guilty for something I didn't do wrong.Guilty cuz I just care too much.Guilty, cuz I think it's wrong to think of myself.I've brought this upon myself.I don't regret.I'll live through this.And wake up to another day.Just that.It sucks when th people you thought would understand your feelings and yourself, misunderstands you th most, noticing th least.

Thanks Mum, Bro && Rohini.

P.S. I can't make it smaller cuz you won't able to read.

Labels: Confused, Friends, Outing, Poems

Friday, 7 August 2009,21:34 | comment | 0 comment(s)

The Road Of Life

I'm at school's Com Lab right now.

Life is like a road.Sometimes you get into an accident, sometimes you get pulled over for speeding.Either way, you still keep on going.You never stop in the middle of the road.But when you run out of gas, you wait for another vehicle to come along.

You ask for help Or they offer it.Still, you keep going.You don't stop moving forward for anything.If you do; Then it's ridiculous.There's always help.

But then sometimes, in most cases mine, the car drives not only the driver.It also drives a few people and their crazy problems.And the effort to keep going on is just too much for the car.

But I'm not stopping.

I don't care.

I'll get out of the car, and push it all the way, even if I have to.

________________________________________________________

At home right now.After the Com Lab, waited for Syafiqah with Rashidha at the canteen.Venkat and Shafiq were there too.Doing what, I have no idea.Anyways, they came over to talk.Well, it was Venkat.Remember, I'm his idea of great humour and good conversation? I'm flattered.lol.We talked crap, as usual.But seriously, he torture me.

When Syafiqah came, made our way to the bustop.The guys followed too.And in the bus, when Syafiqah and I were having an important conversation, they didn't shut up.I was annoyed, in a good way.The guys are really funny.At the interchange Syafiqah's reaction to ahem, certain people, were amusing too.Haha! Had a pretty good day!

P.S. Am going to watch G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra with the family.CHANNING TATUM!!

Labels: Fun, Life, Problems, Syafiqah, Venkat

Thursday, 6 August 2009,14:41 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Disconcertingly Nostalgic...

Hello everyone.Actually, I'm not feeling so good.My mood is unexplainable.Which feels extremely disconcerting.Argh.

Day started with IT.Crapped once again with Srivatsa and Rohini.The reason for them spamming my tagboard.Haha.It was fun, anyways.I fell asleep a bit a bit during Maths.I'm going to try never to do that again.lol.Recess; Girls and I found a magical spot at the Art block.Hehs.Music was free period.Though I managed to get myself pissed with Srivatsa.But we cool now already.He'll say hot.Ahhh... Whatever.lol.

The Science Common Test wasn't as hard as the previous one.I think I did alright.Though, halfway through it was finger-warring Elson.Ridiculous, but highly stress relieving.Talked lots with Maisarah in the bus.Feeling nostalgic, cuz of that.Haiz.I was so tired, fell asleep right after lunch.

I forgot how often my life takes dramatic turns.I failed to foresee.Oh well.I can see it bright and clear now.God, the movie I want to watch has opened at theatres today.I wanted to rush just now.But mum said, we shall go to watch it tomorrow.Yays! Oddly feeling happy and crappy at the moment.Damn these teenage hormones.I'm furiously, if not diligently, doing my homework.There's Maths, Science and MT.

Th light from th end of th tunnel;

Labels: Crazy, Rohini, Srivatsa

Wednesday, 5 August 2009,21:18 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Lots Of Crap!!

Life is well, awesome for the moment.Whatever happens right, I'm going with the flow.I've done my best.The rest is up to the one above.As usual, Mondays rocked.Haha, especially CMT period.Crapped a lot with Srivatsa, Surya and this time even Venkat.Too bad, Syafiqah wasn't around.I bet Surya would have apologised.Hehs.

Today started with me dragging myself to school.I'm very tired.And let me just say, that sleep is seriously underrated.Anyways, English was damn fun.Our group presented the case and I swear it sounded like it came out from a TV show.We got Teacher's choice too.lol.PE was back breaking.But I was talking a lot more than usual.During recess, a couple of chinese guys came to make fun of us.End up, they got it.Haha!

Mrs T didn't come to school again.All of us went to the library.Actually, I wanted to try out my new story.Was sitting with the girls.But then, Srivatsa and Venkat called me over to, entertain them.Apparently, I'm their version of great humour.So, we crapped more&&more.Then, Rohini came over.lol.More talkings.It was quite funny and made my day.

After that, went on the tourism trip with the entire class.Srivatsa annoyed me as he kept asking why I was emoing.When I wasn't.Argh.But I was crappy anyway, cuz I hadn't eaten yet.Cousins have come over.An extreme sisterly occasion.Oh well.Hehs.Awaiting the Science Common Test; Tomorrow.

Labels: School, Srivatsa, Surya, Syafiqah, Venkat

Tuesday, 4 August 2009,17:43 | comment | 0 comment(s)

When All Else Fails, They Don't

{ Channing Tatum... }

{ I don't know know what you call these heels, but love `em }

This weekend is the best.You know why? Cuz my mum's home! She works weekends aite, so she has never taken leaving during this 3 days.But this weekend she did.For my sister and I.And thus, for the first time we went on a family outing on a Friday night.It was awesome.Orchard night life, is so thrilling.Haha!

We went to Centrepoint and has Haagen Daz(sp?) ice cream.I love Rum Raisin.Since watching 'Confessions Of A Shopaholic', I've been crazy to shop.Don't know why.An unexplainable urge.We saw this place called 'ClubMarc nyc'.The stuff there were just so cool.Ahhh.I couldn't resist it.Sister bought clothes while I only bought a pair of shoes.I don't know what they're called.So if you guys do, please tell me, aite? Hehs.

Then we had dinner at Subway and walked lots.Checked if there were any shows at the Cathay.Too bad, there weren't so came back home.But right, I really want to watch the movie:

G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra

Haha, Channing Tatum is just one of the few reasons why.I've heard of the great raves and the damn realistic effects.And then, there is Channing Tatum.Ahhh... LOL! I'm real eager to go back to school again.I love school and all.Just that, school is... Well, nothing can replace school now can it? Oh, and my brain's gone into overdrive.I'm crazy.HAHA!!

Labels: Family, School, Shopping

Saturday, 1 August 2009,21:37 | comment | 0 comment(s)