i'm not afraid; i'm moving on

What's on my mind:

" Everybody wants to go to heaven
But nobody wants to die "

Hyphy

I'm in a confused mood right now, so don't know how to explain.
LOL, yet I'm hyphy!!
Woots; Thank you Ms Scandalous!
I love bloghopping; it's real fun.
And there's a couple of things I've realised in this short weekend.
Which hasn't even ended, come to think of it.
However, I've got an added motto to my life now.
"Just go with th flow"
It hurts no one, and especially me.
Anyways, I watched the awards show on Vasantham last night with my cuzzies.
I was only sticking around for the singing/dancing parts.
And and, ahhh...
Dinesh Kanagarathnam is hot!
Also, Naresh Ayer very cute when he sing the songs.
Lalalala!~
I'm super high at the moment.
My cuzzies and I wrote a song yesterday.
Tamil&&English mix.
LOL, I love it; I keep listening to the recording.
WOOTS!~
Will update more at night.
I'm chatting with Charmaine Babe,LOL.
I love her lots for helping me with this blog.
Thank you!!
HyphyHyphyHyphy!

Labels: Confused, Dinesh, Naresh

Sunday, 31 May 2009,16:34 | comment | 0 comment(s)

There's no other way to say this

I loved you like those countless stars

Yet you bring me down

Hurt me every single time

Even though you know

I bleed with every stab

And now the wound is too big

It can't take anymore

Is okay

I'l forgive and forget

Though,

There's no more place for you in my heart

It's too raw and you just burn

But I'll still be here

For you

And these tears flow down

To protect you from all those pain

I'll be your ANGEL

-Priyaa Nedunzeliyan ©

Labels: Angel, Pain

Saturday, 30 May 2009,21:45 | comment | 0 comment(s)

I am thinking lots these days.
Half of it is total crap yet somehow unavoidable.
It seems necessary to occupy my thoughts sometimes, with these issues.
I'm so proud of Priya; Damn good girl.
LOL, Meet the parents session wasn't that painful.
It was kinda okay; My teacher actually praised me.
Haha, I'm happy enough with that.
Yet my mood has a pissy tinge to it.
This one person annoys me beyond belief and doesn't care anymore.
I don't know what to think and so shall not go about causing pain to my head.
Cuz it takes up time and obvious space in my posts.
My cousins are over at my place.
We crap lots around; It's so fun.
My sister just returned from camp.
I saw that friend today at school,
And apparently he feels ignorance is bliss.
Cuz that's what he did to me.

Angel-Natasha Beddingfield

"Just like a shadow
I'll be beside you
I'll be your comfort
And let it guide you home
I will provide you a place of shelter
I want a be your zone
Tell me what to do
Tell me what you wanted me to do
I'll make you great to be a man
With a woman who can stand
Who will never promise to leave her man
Making vows to please her man
If I could be your angel
Your angel, Your angel
Protect you from the pain
I'll keep you safe from danger
You'll never hurt again
I'll be your a.n.g.e.l
I'm gona be your a.n.g.e.l
I'll be your angelJust like the moon
I'll step beside
And let your sun shine
While I follow behind
Cause baby what ya got
It is with all the props
With everything I'm not
Tell me what to do
Tell me what you wanted me to do
I'll make you great to be a man
With a woman who can stand
Who will never promise to leave her man
Making vows to please her man
If I could be your angel
Your angel, Your angel
Protect you from the pain
I'll keep you safe from danger
You'll never hurt again
I'll be your a.n.g.e.l I'm gona be your a.n.g.e.l
I'll be your angel
Tell me why there's so many good men
And the world's misunderstood
He's a dog, he's no goodI wish somebody would
Disrespect my man
You're gona have to come see me
I go hard for my babyHe's all that I need
So if you got a good one
Put your hands up,Come on girl and stand up
Go ahead lift your man up
Get up If you got a good one, put your hands up
Go ahead lift your man up
Get up If you got a good one, stand up
Come on girl, and stand up
If I could be your angel Your angel, Your angel
Protect you from the pain
I'll keep you safe from danger
You'll never hurt again
I'll be your a.n.g.e.l
I'm gona be your a.n.g.e.l
I'll be your angel "

21:07 | comment | 0 comment(s)

I must thank God at times.
Though, I feel sick in the gut and all.
He knows how to make it all better.
Special mentions: Himanshu, Venkat, Rosma&&Mum.
Thanks for making me feel better.
Rohini and I did the balcony scene of Romeo&&Juliet.
It was ridiculously hilarious; overly romantic eh.
Srivatsa's Macbeth was power!
We got our results back today.
Gotta work harder, will do will do.
The CCA workshop was damn fun.
I love it.
We built balloon towers.
Haha, how cool is that?
I'm waiting for your call, friend.

Labels: Drama, Himanshu, Mum, Srivatsa, Venkat

Friday, 29 May 2009,21:24 | comment | 0 comment(s)

I ain't gonna lie

I'm not going to say it isn't you

It's me

Cuz it's not true

This is how I feel

So there's no stopping it

If you don't wanna hear it

Close your ears

And keep acting like nothing's wrong

My mind is blank

Yet I think a lot

You still don't get it though

He's out of th picture

My feelings are unstable

Too bad though

Guess you'll never get it

But all I need is this

I need some time alone

-Priyaa Nedunzeliyan ©

{ committment is a long and big word for very good reasons }

Thursday, 28 May 2009,19:42 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Hello
I'm kinda tired, yet can't refrain from blogging.
Today's my cuzzie bro's birthday.
LOL, going over to his place later to celebrate.
Today, some of my classmates performed the Shakespeare plays.
So cool, hehs.
Then, we had NYAA.
It was well, okays.
Except when two guys fought using chairs and th guys throwing th ball down.
Oh well.
I was really excited to go for the "Othello" performance.
It was really cool.
While on the bus, Shafiq and I saw NUS High and shared a nostalgic moment.
For just one moment.
The actors were freaking realistic.
And my eyes were constanty on Micheal Cassio played by Shane {Smth}
Lalalalala!~
Hahaha!
Anyways, I'm thinking more and more.
I really need this time alone.
Guess it is a good thing that we're gonna have one month of holiday.

Labels: Balls, Birthday, Drama, Tired

19:23 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Today I was feeling light headed.
So I didn't go to school.
Then, I remembered today afternoon was the last session of NYAA.
Thus, happily skipped at about 1.30pm.
The girls were waiting for me at the bus stop cuz it was raining.
I like rain.
Divya and I went for 1hr of dancing; it was damn tiring.
Soccer was argh.
Mr V put me with the boys.
I was damn busy trying not to fall flat on my face.
Plus, in the bus, I was admiring Syafiqah.
She so nice to look at when she's thinking.
LOL.
OhMyGod, and and, I'm going to do something to Priya Akka.
Half-LOL-ing, Half blushing.
=)

Labels: Dance, Divya, Priya, Soccer, Syafiqah

Tuesday, 26 May 2009,19:00 | comment | 0 comment(s)

I'm changing my style of blogging.
Just for today, I'll blog like this.
But if it is nice, maybe continuously.
I'm chatting with Krish, Priya and Divya right now.
Krish hasn't changed much.
I'm still going to welcome his face to my first.
Though having met before, another meeting would be nice.
Haha.
Krish and I just played a prank on Sya&&Divya.
It was kinda funny.
Hehs.
Honestly, it was all his idea.
LOL.

Labels: Divya, Krish, Priya

Sunday, 24 May 2009,21:29 | comment | 0 comment(s)

LOUD!

Hello

I know it has been long since I did proper blogging.Well, not too long.But long enough for me and plus, I really liked the whole nostalgic feelings I was arousing around.How dramatic! Like Syafiqah said, recently, I've become really LOUD.I guess there's nothing wrong with that.There are some things that just can't be said without an exclamation! Haha! See!

My feelings are unstable.And my moods, needless to say, is even worse.Something must be wrong with the switch.One moment I'll be feeling worse than a stray dog and the other, above the world.Who cares?! As for now, I'm super elated.I don't even know why.Actually, I do know the blurred version.But as mentioned, it's blurred.No exact reasons.

By the way, the soccer sessions are going to end on Tuesday.I'm sharing Syafiqah's "PeelingPeelings".It'll be damn sad.Yeah, the guys annoy and bully us since we're girls.Still, it really rocks! And honestly, I'll miss playing with the boys.Especially, the times when I kick someone's ball out!! Haha.Soccer is a great stress reliever.Hehs.The June holidays are nearing.Though, there's still one more week of school to endure.So, I'm going to EndureEndure.LOL.

Maybe I'll update more later, if not, this is it.Adios!

Labels: Elated, Soccer, Syafiqah

Saturday, 23 May 2009,13:34 | comment | 0 comment(s)

For You I Will

Will you be there for me

Th way i have been all this while

I don't get it sometimes

What's wrong

I won't promise that i can make it better

But i'll be there

Through it all

That, i can promise

Cuz that i can do

Not much is in my power

But whatever is

I'll use

Cuz baby,

If it ain't for you

Who else would it be for?

-Priyaa Nedunzeliyan ©

Friday, 22 May 2009,21:23 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Updating

Well, this is going to be short.

I played footieball today.It was damn fun.Cuz I kicked a guy's ball far far away.Sounds so wrong.Yet, revenge is sweet.Haha.School has been haywire.I'm so tired these days, it's hard to stay awake and witness half the mayhem.LOL.Srivatsa and I are doing half the work for the skit.It's sickening, cuz at times no one wants to listen

Labels: Short

21:11 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Sad Fate

i do remember th things you said

forever i'll keep

but people don't think th same

it hurts sometime

when they think they know you too well

when i'm unable to tell

they're wrong

i've only one thing to say

i'm young and outta control

yet

my heart has gone nowhere

it's still here, with me

and trust me

it's staying there

for a long long time...

-Priyaa Nedunzeliyan ©

Tuesday, 19 May 2009,16:07 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Cullen

I see you at school

Usual frown

Th same swagger

Just once in a while

If I had prayed well enough

That crooked smile of yours

Makes my day

Never have I

Heard words come out

From your pouted lips

Seemingly

I guess I long for th day

I'd finally hear your voice

She says it's normal

But I just sit and wonder

Imagine what it'd be like

Haha

Yes, Edward Cullen

Without your knowledge

Everytime I see you

You make me smile

Nevertheless

Edward Cullen

{ Inspired by, nonetheless, Edward Cullen }

Sunday, 17 May 2009,21:34 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Updating

As you all can see, recently, I've taken a liking to poem-ing my thoughts.I don't know why.But it's nicer to read than the usual random ramblings of mine.I get sudden sudden inspirations, so pardon moi.

I really don't understand why we are still going to school.I wish they'd give us the holidays already.We know our results, so there doesn't seem to be a point.Though, I'm tired of staying at home.So boring.Hehs.There's simply nothing much to do.I just laze around, mostly in front of the TV all day.How productive! Anyways, Priya and I were sharing our plans for the holidays.Haha.So fun.

My sister and I went to the shop.We pratically bought everything in sight.Or more like, everything we laid eyes on.Hehs.We bought, ice creams, chocolates, drinks; various kinds of snacks.I haven't touched any yet.I'm saving them, maybe, to pig out later.LOL.By the way, I'm LOL-ing lots lately, too.Don't know why.So psychotic.I realised, I haven't been talking about Edward Cullen too.Update: He's Fine, People.

I'm going to poem now.

21:15 | comment | 0 comment(s)

A Walk To Remember

And nothing else exists

When you're with me

Th stars twinkle

And th sky never ends

Th changes you've made

I'm someone else

I didn't even knew it happened

But baby I know

It's hard to let go

I'll do anything to bring you back in my arms again

Yet

No matter where you are

Up in th clouds or smilin' with th stars

A part of you is still with me

And th love we have will never die

I won't dwell over th fact you're gone

Or that I miss th sound of your voice

I'll carry along where ever I go

Th sound of your laughter

And th smell of your skin

Th many memories kept in my heart

I won't ever forget

That day at th park

When you told me you loved me

It was truly

A Walk To Remember

-Priyaa Nedunzeliyan ©

{ Inspired by th book, A Walk To Remember. Dedicated to my baby; he'll be back. And to all who love their one&&only }

Labels: Poems

Saturday, 16 May 2009,23:59 | comment | 0 comment(s)

I.Miss.You.

I know times are hard

Sometimes, it isn't even your fault

But I know you're strong

And soon enough

You too

Will move along

But now

That ain't the case

I love the way you make me laugh

When I'm sad

Or when I feel real bad

Everything's okay with you around

But now

You're not here

And I miss you being there for me

Sometimes I hate the things you do

But never you

So if you actually look into my eyes

You'll realise

That dear friend

I miss you

Friday, 15 May 2009,22:33 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Feelings

HeyHey

Today, I've made up my mind to do some serious blogging.Hehs.I haven't blogged properly in quite some time, eh? So, here goes everything.

Today was our school's games day.Honestly, I didn't want to go.I had no games to play, so there really wasn't any point.But, I forced my butt to get out of bed and go to school, anyways.

After morning assembly, everyone dispersed to the various venues to play their games.Divya, Roh, Kausalya and I didn't have any.So, we were watching people from the 3rd floor.That was until, a teacher told us to go support our class.Since we had no idea where they were, we just situated ourselves near the soccer field.I started emo-ing there.

I really didn't want to be there.I wanted to be far far away.Very far away from the familiar faces at school cuz I was tired.I wanted to sleep, and dream of getting lost.How dumb.Still, no hiding of the feelings.It showed quite clearly on my face.Divya and Rohini left after a while, to do council duties.So, once again I was, well, alone.Kausalya kept me company.And tried her best to cheer me up.

Then, as we spotted Divya from afar and started to make our way there, we saw something else.Biri was crying.As you'll know, I'm not very good at consoling.Thus, I was very tempted to run away.Being honest here, people.But I turned back and went to ask what was wrong.I told Kausalya to go ahead first.Apparently, while playing Captain's ball, cuz of some idiot Nelly [3/7] fell, injuring her head.Biri was scared for her and very upset with the dam referee.Who wouldn't be? When everyone was helping Nelly, the game just continued.What a load of bull!

After consoling, Biri asked me to follow her to the field.Her class boys were playing in the finals for Soccer.So, as awkward as it sounds and looked then, in the midst of Sec3s, I was the only Sec2.lol.But as promised to Biri, I cheered for them boys.When 3/7 won, I actually jumped.Haha! Which was weird and all, I just hope my cousin didn't see anything.

-.-

Then, I made my way to the 3rd floor and stood with Syafiqah and Rashidha.Our school was playing against a foreign school.Syafiqah's brother was playing.And I couldn't help laughing.They were good as a team, our school boys.Another one of my cousin played also.Prize presentation was noisu.lol.I took the bus with Hazwani.She was mumbling something about not having seen Edward Cullen yet.Surprisingly/Shockingly, however you see it, when the bus stopped in one of the stops, I saw him.I showed her.She agreed with me.Muahahaha!~

Labels: emo, Friends, Games Day, Lonely, Priya

21:21 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Summer

Hello

This week it's all about results.Gah!

My results are okay, I guess.I know, though, I can do much much better.lol.So, June holidays are going to be like summer school.Haiz.But it's okay.Lalalala!~

Hehs.I'm taking soccer for NYAA with the girls.And oh my God, it's damn tiring.Super fun, yet real tiring.My toes feel like they're fractured.

Things are getting better.Just everything.Let's all celebrate...

Please?

Thursday, 14 May 2009,19:54 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Confessions

My heart beat is very fast at the moment.

Anyways, about this week.

As the exams are over, I really don't know what to do.So, I just hang around the computer and stay up till very very late.Haha! My sister and I are having fun in that way.It's like there's so much of time in the hand, don't know what to do with it.So funny, right? Cuz when it was all havoc and chaos, there was no time in the world to even eat.lol.I feel so random.

I feel so light right now.I'm glad I got it off my chest.Honestly though, wanting to hurt you is the last thing on my mind.If that's what I've done, once again, I'm sorry.But I can't change how you see things neither can I bring myself to see it your way.So we have our differences.I'm moving on, okay?

Now, also I feel so good.It wasn't my faintest intention to accuse anyone.Friendship is a dangerous but most pleasurable one too.My love for you people is still there.I still care.People change.Maybe I have too.Peace out!

Sunday, 10 May 2009,21:25 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Th return of...

The return of the ever hyper, Priyaa!

I'm happy for many reasons.Some can't be posted publicly.Here's a few though:

[1] The exams are finally over!

[2] No more Art for the next semester!

[3] I'm planning to meet up with ma boyz!

and there's an endless list...

Haha.I'm so happy.It takes everything not to jump around the house, screaming like a maniac.I had a heart to heart conversation with two of my good friends.I'm glad I'm getting a chance to get all these over with.I'm afraid, but won't back down.God, it's gonna suck.Still...

The mission has to go on.lol.

Partner, you in?

Labels: Happy

Friday, 8 May 2009,22:44 | comment | 0 comment(s)

Forgetting Th Reoccurring Will Never Happen

I feel upset

I feel like I've been slapped

It still stings

Th hand was strong

I thought you were my friend

I thought you'd understand

I mean exactly what I say

It just wasn't directed to you

Now I'm wound up feeling bad

I know you

I know you wouldn't stoop that low

You didn't hurt my friend's feelings

Of course

I know you're a good person

Still, th pain inflicted is on me

I don't know how to make you understand

I'm sorry

Put yourself in my shoes

I'm hurt

I understand

Though

It was mean of me

I shouldn't have

Me and my big mouth

I'm sorry

I'm reading Twilight

And I feel upset

I'll go soak my head and never come back

Damage is done

Forgetting Th Reoccurring Will Never Happen

I'm sorry

-Priyaa ©

Labels: Sorry

Thursday, 7 May 2009,18:31 | comment | 0 comment(s)

I'll miss you; Pls don't go

My feelings are hanging onto a thin thread, over a tall building.No one cares how much it hurts.Words spoken can't be taken back.It can only remind you how painful they mean.

Now I feel like a real sadist.Feel and surely sound like one too.There's nothing more hurting than hearing the person you love say things that cuts through you like a knife.

It's the fact that it comes from the person you love.

Crap.

I woke up this morning.Felt like I was having a damn hangover.I lazed around.Today I was taking a break.I'll continue revising tomorrow.Both Rohini and Syafiqah have got me hooked on Takin' Back My Love-EnriqueFt.Ciara.Though, my heart constantly cries to "Far Away" By Nickelback.It's quite an old song.I think I heard it first when I was only 10.But it's super meaningful.Right now, it suits the situation more than ever.

I burnt my tongue twice today.It feels so raw and numb at the moment.The finger I got a cut on is numb too.Though it hurt like wtf when it got caught in my hair.Actually, I feel numb.The overide of news equals to the overide of emotions within me.I'm overwhelmed with so many different feelings.

Anger, Sadness, Randomness, Love, Hurt... So many damn feelings.

It sucks.All of this unwanted happenings completely, totally, definitely, 100% sucks!

I don't want her to leave.

I'll miss her.

More than I want to, more than I need to, more than anyone else.

Labels: Divya, Leaving, Miss, Songs

Friday, 1 May 2009,21:14 | comment | 0 comment(s)